Almost 3 months has passed...

It's been FOREVER since I posted...
I've been rather busy and learning to live without our little Marky bear.

Since my last post, there have been several other TD babes that have grown their angel wings...the babes that are now healthy in Heaven, dancing with Mark are:
~Matthew
~Faith
~Chloe
~Fatima
~Hadley
~Gabe
Please pray that their families will heal their losses.

There is one babe Charlie, that was born at the end of August who is still doing quite well! Let's send tons of positive vibes his way that he continues to do well.

I've volunteered at the hospital on the maternity ward a few times and got to feed some itty bitty day olders! loved it. Made me sad but happy at the same time. Weird I know! but that's just how it feels. My days are so much better, more good than bad. I see the great joy in my boys and my wonderful man :) LOVE YOU JOHNNY!

Mark's memory will never pass. He is with me always. I think of him so many times a day! there has not been one day that has passed that I haven't thought of him and remembered how soft he was and the sound of his 2 little "mews". I know he is watching over me, and is with me...and that comforts me.

To Mark
I thought of you today and closed my eyes, and prayed to God. I asked what makes a mother and I know I heard him say: "A mother has a baby. This we know is true." " But God, can you be a mother when your babys not with you?" "Yes you can." He replied, with confidence in his voice. " I give many woman babies, when they leave its not their choice. Some I send for a lifetime, and others only days and some I send to feel your womb. But there is no need to stay." "I just dont understand this God. I want my baby here." He took a breath and cleared his throat, and then I saw a tear. "I wish that I could show you what your child is doing today.If you could see your child smile with other children who say:" "We go to earth and learn our lessons of love and life and fear. My mommy loved me oh so much, I got to come straight here. I feel so lucky to have a mom who has so much love for me. I learned my lessons very quickly. My mommy set me free. I miss my mommy oh so much, but i visit her each day. When she goes to sleep, on her pillows where I lay. I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek and whisper in her ear, Mommy dont be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here." "So you see my dear sweet one, your children are OK. Your babies are here in my home. They'll be waiting for you at heavens gate. So now you see what makes a mother. It's the feeling in your heart. It's the love you had so much of. Right from the very start!"