I had my 26 week ultrsound this Tuesday. I was so excited to see baby Mark! I brought Johnny's mom with me to see (she's visiting from out East). The ultrasound was to look for excess fluid, and to do growth measurements. The tech. was really nice, and did give me some of her feedback on what she saw but couldn't tell me certain things (I have to wait to see my OB next friday for the complete report).
What she did say was that there are some changes from the last 20 week ultrasound. Mark's head is growing larger than it should be at this gestation, and the shape is changing a bit...his skull is taking on the shape of a clover leaf, which is consistent with the TD type 2. This did not make me happy, of course. I was really hoping that they were wrong and that this US would show him normal and healthy...I know, a pipe-dream, but I'm his mama and I'm entitled hope. Then to see his little limbs had only grown about 2mm in 6 weeks...that made me cry. His limbs are measuring the length of a 15.5 week old baby, almost 11 weeks behind.
He looks so amazing though! he's gorgeous, and so cute with that little button nose and big kissable lippys :) he's going to have a bunch of smooches planted on those lips as soon as I get to hold him! he was moving like crazy...the tech would go to point out a hand just to have him wave quick and take off turning around LOL. The good news is that my fluid levels are just fine for now. The tech was great and took a bunch of the pics she got and put them on CD for us instead of just paper.
I've had some bad days, about one a week, where every little thing sets me off. The majority of the time though I'm trying to stay up beat and positive. I'm trying to think of Mark as my little angel baby, that has chosen John and I as his mama and papa for a reason and we chose him as well. This is going to undoubtably be the hardest thing we have been through, but it will be joyous as well in certain ways...to have him grow in me and live under my heart every day makes me so happy I don't want it to end...because I know what the end of the pregnancy will bring. I was soo anxious with the others to have them out and meet them and get on with their lives with us...but it's totally different this time.
He is beautiful Mama!! I'm so sorry for the pain that you are going through. I can't imagine how strong you must be.....::hugs::
ReplyDeleteI hope this brings you some comfort
ReplyDeleteI would have chosen...
If before you were born I could have gone to Heaven to see all of the beautiful souls,
I still would have chosen you.
If God had told me that this soul would one day need extra care,
I still would have chosen you.
If He had told me that one day this soul may make my heart bleed,
I still would have chosen you.
If He had told me that this soul would make me question the depth of my faith,
I still would have chosen you.
If He had told me that this soul would make tears flow from my eyes that would overflow a river,
I still would have chosen you.
If He had told me that our time spent together here on Earth could be short,
I still would have chosen you.
If He told me that this soul may one day make me endure overbearing suffering,
I still would have chosen you.
If He had told me that all that I know to be normal would drastically change,
I still would have chosen you.
Of course, even though I would have chosen you, I know it was God who chose me for you.
Thank you, God, for allowing me to be his Mommy.
Author Unknown.
that is absolutly beautiful mama...I might use that for his service. I can't stop sobbing, because it's soo true.
ReplyDeleteYour baby and you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry for the pain your going through, and can't imagine. Your little baby is beautiful. God has definitely chosen a special strong mama to love him.
ReplyDeleteYour post brings back lots of memories of m ultrsounds with Madi (I found out at 22 weeks she would be born with the worst form of spina bifida and hydrocephalus). I will say lots of prayers for you.
ReplyDelete